No more Mrs. Nice Guy

I'm starting to think that people who are not nice and compassionate are actually happier than those who are. Spending too much energy caring about others seems to take its toll on one's own happiness. If true altruism were possible, maybe nice people could be happy, but I think that we all eventually need something back. Maybe teenagers have it right with their all-about-me attitudes. They have self-absorption down to a science. I am going to take some lessons from my two wonderful, self-absorbed teenagers on how to only care about me, and how I feel, and what's good for me. I truly find this behavior loathesome, but it seems to work for them. The caring, compassionate route is leaving me feeling needy and sad. I know that seems counterintuitive, but there really seems to be evidence that being "too nice" is a liability.

Texting

I have come to the conclusion that texting is dangerous business. The opportunity to be misinterpreted is too great. If you decide to compose an email you will probably choose your words carefully, mull them over for a bit, and reread them at least once before pressing Send. Texting is too close to talking, but it allows for a lack of inhibition that could be somewhat healthy in a face to face dialogue. So much is lost in translation through a text. There is no context. Therefore, words and feelings are quickly misconstrued. I'm not saying that I will depart "cold turkey" from my texting addiction, but I will definitely be more cautious, and I will take that moment to read and contemplate before sending.

Weather

It's June 20th, it's been raining for weeks, the grass is "as high as an elephant's eye," and for some strange reason I seem to be the only person enjoying this crazy weather. Maybe it's because my life is so dreary and strange right now that I am finding the rain oddly comforting. It's the only thing that's not trying to cheer me up right now. It's allowing me to curl up in my bed with books and my laptop without feeling guilty that I should be out gardening, or surfing, or soaking up those vitamin-filled rays that everyone demands every day. 

The funny thing about humans and weather is that no matter what mother nature puts out each day, people will find something to complain about. When the sun is shining, it's either too hot, or too humid, or too bright. They're getting too sunburned, the kids won't cooperate with the sunblock applications, the grass is turning brown, the garden needs watering again...And God forbid it rains!! Even if it rains 1 day out of 9, people will undoubtedly say, "when will it ever stop raining?" Since weather HAPPENS every day, and most people don't really have much to say, I guess it gives those poor, shallow souls something to pontificate about.  Hmmm...since I just filled 2 perfectly good paragraphs discussing the weather, I have officially joined the ranks of the poor, shallow souls. I think I'll grab my organic shampoo and hop outside for a nice shower in the rain!! 

favorite quotes of the day

"We should eat all of our provisions now so that we have less to carry."--Christopher Robin (Winnie the Pooh)

"Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance."--William Wirt

Too Nice??

I always thought that being nice, and looking for the good qualities in others were honorable attributes. OK, they may still be honorable, but apparently they are not necessarily fulfilling or productive. 

I have recently been accused of being too nice. That's a tough thing to hear. I guess I could be considered an idealist. I should really be more cynical and harshly judgemental considering that I grew up with parents who could quickly find flaws in Mother Theresa!! I have worked hard to try to look for the good in people. In doing that, I have apparently blinded myself to the not-so-good things that I just didn't want to see. 

So, the burning question of the moment is: How do I remain "nice" while being more cautious of those who can rip my heart out? I always prided myself as being a good judge of character. When I get more comfortable with this whole blogging deal, maybe I'll share why I no longer think I'm a good judge of character. 

favorite quote of the day

"insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time."

~Albert Einstein

quick dinner story

My 70 something parents used to host Thanksgiving dinner until about 3 years ago when they spent 15 minutes in a heated argument over lights vs candles. After my mother had painstakingly located candles and decorated the table and the dining room with enough of them for mood and vision, my father insisted that the lights be turned on because he liked to see his food! This battle was not in the kitchen, away from the guests, NO, it was at the table in front of 12 very terrified, confused guests who probably have not graced us with their presence since that evening.